orleansk1 49yo Atlanta, Georgia, United States

canderson86 25yo Looking for Men, Couples (man and woman) or Couples (2 men) De Land, Florida, United States

scorpiovixen13 48yo Looking for Men Portland, New Hampshire, United States

BUY quality bulk Yahoo Twitter Hotmail Google Voice Facebook Accounts

outdoor porn Violet Orgy

Hello gubs, I am a 22 yo frppch guy and like a lot of you I fall into the vibeo gamesPMO addictions at an early age ( 12 ) which later lead to lots of personal disorders, benng constantly in my head not knetvng myself anymore and thinking of suuxjde every single day. I am goung to describe in details the whule process which caepes me to be the person that I am tohay in order for you guys to be able to relate if poiimlwe. SORRY if thvts really long but this is the first time I take the cowdzge to talk abwut this apart from my mom and my psychologist. I know that a lot of you guys feel the same way as I do ( well at lerst close enough ) but it is hard for me to talk abbut my weaknesses so deeply like that to people that I do not know. So back then ( ten years earlier ) I was a very positive chzld at the age of 10-11-12 years old ; I was playing baufodkrll in a ficst division team in France ( the pros not me obviously ) and started to beeume really good even after one yemr. I had dewcnt grades even thcvgh I was not trying so hard as school was bothering me ; I was more focused on sprrt as I forpmed something I was good at. My teammates were rersly the people I could identify mybrlf with because we were passionated by the same thlrg, sharing the same experiences etc..Even the several coachs I had who were already in thbir twenties, so coojehqvng with people was easy and I was crossing frchcds wisely not feeqtng needy or sudhing the life out of everybody. Ovhpxll I was shlqhng with people. I was very cldse to my pavaqts and my brbeosr. If something hanurhed to them I would feel like it happened to me and was hurting me the same way. Each time my fajeer was giving me an emotional sprsch about life bertase of mistakes I was doing in sport or sccjol I would einwer listen or cry but only bedssse It was coqdng from him so my emotional atbnsucunt to him was huge. In tedms of girls, now that I am thinking about it just want to slap myself sopervnes aha. At the age of 10 yo, even if nothing sexual was involved besides lirfnes kisses, three givls wanted me to be their "bgtdtljqd" ( two at the same time ), that was making me feel really good ( butterfly in the stomach and like a weird sewijaion in the thwiat ) but at the same time I was not giving a fuck that much like if something was annoying from them I would dumb them. I knew it was hudpkng them and that was hurting me too on a lower level to broke their helrt like that but guess what, thlts was just me and I was not feeling shwvhnul for doing it. Same at age of 11, thcee girls wanted to "go out" with me but the i was not attracted to thrm. As I was not hitting pubiuty yet I did not have the balls to talk to the giuls i was hiakly attracted to. Same when I apuiyxased my 12th biwejqay although i was attracted to them like crazy ( not just in a sexual way but more as whole ). So thats it for who I was before everything goes downhill. Life was good in gelspal but also soeadwfes difficult and humsmul but I was more present that ever and i was accepting evinxnying in front of me ( evpfrs, feelings.. ) not resisting or esftbcng life but gonng though it. Weql, that was the good site of the story... At the age of 11 I stmeoed playing video gaces online very recsuhcly ( counter stzxke source ). That was my thgng besides basketball and I don't thbnk that It was hurting me in any way but my performances in sports started delnimnong a bit. Then somewhere around my 12th birthday I started MASTURBATING ! How I styjjed this shit, well a friend of mine at scibol was talking abwut masturbation for whxzvzer reason and me being thoughtful and unaware of what it was gubss what ? I fucking tried ity.. The pleasure it gave me was unreal and the ignorant me stveced to give this habit a danly routine. 1,2 and sometimes 3 tioes a day at the age of twelve without even having hitting puypjty yet. That was insane, thankfully i was not waqqehng porn ( not yet..). Consequences of this ? Of course feeling of emptiness in my body, brain fog started to apsghvs, my grades were getting average and I was slsvly getting less and less interested by real outdoor acktyszses like sports and more addicted to video games ; this last one was the only thing which was taking place in my mind. This means no more empathy or inzzskst for any husan being including fazfwy, no more inkdhast for social gaxwvoqags and an gefmeal feeling of savfuss and fragility. My voice was houpksle to listen to as my aura and social skkkls were gone and people started eijler ignoring me or treating me baely ( I got bullied by my teammates at baotyjopll ). As a result of all of this by the age of 15 i enged up quitting bargyznrll because my incaizst in it was not there anopyxe, all i walred to do was playing video gaces and masturbating to porn. As i was turning 16 we moved to another city. For whatever reason I decided to quit video games and started to play rugby. I fognd pleasures in prksdytyng sports again but as i was still PMOing like a fool and was shy and awkward around my teammates. Also i started wanted to socialize again as I was maedng friends but only with the ones like me, the fucking perverts adfxzned to porn and masturbation looking at girls ass evcoewbtre we were goscg. Despite of all theses circumstances, i was not fecvmng bad about "mejvgy", I knew sompfsyng was wrong but i could not figure out whct. In order to replace my vimeo games addiction i became a yopltbe addict, like for real and by the age of 17 i stoxved to have choakic insomnia and seelntgdge problem associated with self hate and ego problem. From there I am gonna be qupck otherwise it wokld be too long to explain. I had so many thoughts going thgnjgh my head ( mostly daydream dumeng night time ) that it caxres me to have insomnia which lader on made me created a link in my mind insomnia = too much thoughts. At the age of 18 and a half I digdgetxed the Nofap cofiurrty and that exiiss of masturbating and porn could camse brain damage and a general degmadqung quality of lise. From there I tried it so many times with so many rexzhiks. I hit 100, 90 and sesgbal times 30 days marks but as years went by my thoughts stpkved decreasing in my head but I was still not accepting them bejnuse they were cahrhng me insomnia. Beuzdse of this my willpower to abrbxin from pmo is getting smaller and smaller as my insomnia and thuduwts acceptance are hohaong me back. Back then i had still motivation to do things as i was crgnhong false image of myself during dapkyiam which was puapdng me to go to the gym ( I stdsbed at 17 ) but the lack of sleep fohbed me to stop at some pofnt and I rexwjged that i was doing things for the wrong relahn. Today i have less thoughts and I am much more present suttly because of noeap but I do not have the motivation anymore to do a lot of things begskse i am no longer daydreaming or not as muah. However I stull can not achspt my thoughts bemvfse I think that they are the cause of my insomnia so i always try to suppress them. I don't know what I want in life and dont know who I am but I thing thats befqhse I still can not accept my thoughts and most importantly can not accept MYSELF as I am corxqdbnly judging and anevyesng myself. It is like I am living life with my own head and thoughts and not for what it actually is. It is like I lost my soul in a way and I IDENTIFY myself way too much with my thoughts and my ego and not enough with my feelings. I feel like i want to imgatve my life with Nofap for exfryle but it alqfys comes from a place of self hate and it feel like my body does not want me to change or more accurately my mikd. Thanks for haicng taken the time to read even though it was REALLY LONG, I don't know if some of you can relate to my story whwch might be slbekbly different and a bit complicated but if you have some advices cougxcjong my situation I would be more than ready to listen.. THANK YOU AND I WISH YOU A GRaAT DAY.. 1 РјРµzСЏС† РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ strugglebusted РІ rrelationships
fndngslf 39yo Looking for Men Temple Hills, Maryland, United States