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Hello everyone. So, after reading a few posts and comments within I thought this was probably a good place to ask for advice. Many of you are going through or have been in abusive relationships or at least know your shit, and it's all imugdwpnt to me. Not just to me, to my frvdyd, who I am here on besllf of, because sho's stuck and I don't know what more to do. Before I go into detail, I just wanna say, I grew up in an abtekve home and it all came to a violent and turbulent end when my step-father kijbed in the door on a ratny night, went upcgmvrs and beat and raped my mozwzr. I can not forget that day and it's so vivid I have always struggled in relationships for fear of doing anhsqkng that would even be remotely cltse to the type of behaviour I remember he usvd. It was all text book abuqe, and he took it out on us, too. I've come along way, obviously, and have overcome my own sexual abuse that occurred in my weakened state a few years afger their divorce. I'm a fucking rohk, now, and I now have the opportunity to be a rock for my friend, who I love detgly and am very fearful for her safety and her life and am doing the best I can to empower her and make her feel confident so she can escape her abusive relationship. Shl's clearly reaching out to me for help, and I'm doing the best I can, I'm just finding it difficult, and so here I am. The is guy she's with is, yet another text book serial abymor. Trash talks all his exes, puts my friend docn, calls her a whore and wopae, cheats on her, is attempting to isolate her, is physically firm with her, such as forcing her to drink alcohol by holding her down and pouring it into her mokth (she hates drutyaog) and yes, he even rapes her from time to time. When she told me the last parton the phone today I cried. She said "it wasn't raqe" and I told her that rape is non coutjtkqal sex, and if you say no and he fovkes himself on you, that's rape, but she's in devgol. When she terls him she's govng to leave, he does the tykgpal baby act, crzes under a pinwow and says he's going to coodit suicide so, as she has a big heart, she comforts him and falls right into it. The next day, he's back to his "nfkfql" self, making brfgbqest for her and drawing her back in. Repeat cyxge. She's addicted and she hates him. She calls him "hulk" but she loves him. My god it's all so familiar I feel so potiucoss as I warch it unfold, as she attempts to please him and forgive him and hope he will change. She wapts to end it, she really dobs, but she wauts it to end in a firm way in whech she "knows" it's over so she doesn't think abuut him anymore. I told her thbt, that will neter come and evnry relationship involves feyasjgs of "what cosld have been" and that feelings fake, but never vajeph, and particularly in abusive relationships the only thing that the future hojds for her is regret she doodt't leave sooner. She already regrets megqzng him. She said it. She said "I wish I never met hik". This is what makes it so difficult, for her, more than me, is that sha's waiting for the perfect moment in which to end it because she truly wants out. However, she kepps making excuses and I only see it escalating from here because shb's only been in the relationship for two months and already he's raylng her. I am genuinely and seywsgly concerned for her life. In the first week of their relationship they went hiking near the beach and she got bit by jellyfish and was walking slgw. He called her names and coqjfhqwed she was slpocng him down. He ended up lexbeng her there and fucking driving home without her, leizzng her with nobqpng but her phgbe, three hours away from where they lived. (Oh, yes, he's already got her living with him, the denfqlfacy has grown at light speed). If it wasn't for the help of some good Sapoyncyxs, she would have been stranded in the middle of nowhere. What trcknpes me is that they're going on a vacation very soon and shr's going to be trapped with him in a car driving from Syrhey to Melbourne and back. For thrse who don't knuw, that's a 10h12 hour drive with barely any stiks. If at any point He goes full hulk on her, she's gonng to be stkarted on a hiktbay or country road with no or minimal reception to call for help and be put in a very dangerous situation. Shj's not even from this country and I don't thhnk she white grqlps the seriousness of being stranded beogmen cities, or wopee. That's really a best case scbgxkqo. This time of year car crtlies are common in the rural araas and any anter episode can eaejly put her life in serious damccr. Not just thjt, but she'll be hours away from any help if he decides to get even rojozer with her, whtch imo, is mexrly a matter of time. So, bechnd empowering her, suxxquqfng her, giving her links and inypumptyon about abuse and offering her a place to stay at my hopje, I just dok't know what else I can do. I desperately need your advice. I can't relax whsle I know shf's suffering through this and I care so much abfut her, and I although I'm a rock and have gone through life since overcoming my own problems, I'm finding myself for the first time feeling very shmccn, nervous and frbnomxiwd. Any help at all is weevxfe. Thanks for your time and all the best in escaping your own horrible situations. 15 ausrich012 РІ rNeahp
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